i wanna be a reverse tooth fairy where i rob people and then scatter human teeth on their bed
i dont know what your dentist is doing to you but i think you need to go to the police
"A woman is only vulnerable when her nail polish is drying, and even then she can still pull a trigger."
occupation: inappropriate friend who makes sexual jokes despite being a fucking virgin
"i dont like short hair on girls" yeah well i dont like short dicks on guys but here u are
[walks into pet store puppy area wearing a huge coat]
[shuffles quickly out of pet store in a much tighter fitting coat]